No religion every day
philosophy chant
Rumi to Rimbaud
saint guru
holy name
bring attention
to life's
highlight
dance on plates
bon voyage
heaven's not
a catalogue
_________________________________________________________________________
I posted the below version last year on 365+1
titled as 'Start don't begin'.
and redrafted the latest above for 52
No religion everyday
philosophy
Rimbaud to Rumi
cuts attention too!
the highlight
of the high-life
is to look up
dancing on plates
heaven's not a catalogue
(Aug 2016)
I like the revised version much better. I think the restructuring gives the words more space and allows the ideas to unfurl more slowly, and the changes to the diction are an improvement too.
ReplyDeleteYes. I prefer it too. The new one fairly dances along!
ReplyDeletephilosophy's too hard for some
ReplyDeletefor those too boring for a story
prose for those who lack poetry's spark
as for myself
I believe I believe
I'm the heretic you burn
I'm the pages you set to ash