Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Kerri Shying R - # 7 Air Freight


I am thinking a lot about the sense of fear and xenophobia that mixed race people have and how the current 'alt right' stuff has not left our community thinking unscathed. even in my family there is a huge divide, like in most I guess. 

Air Freight

someone sends me air   it’s from America
the north   I am afraid to breath it in  keep

it locked up   in the heat-pressed bubble
that it comes in    pillowing the book the swatch

of cloth I saw online   wanted   pinged over the seas
into my lap   there is this air now  this air

from there   stuck here  so far from belonging
 the air of punk-arse packers   ekeing out

a meth head life in trailers   no   the air of mormons   no
 the air from canisters spiked with something

made to kill me

I have a box of air now in my shed     it is the
air of All Nations   it is sequestered  it leaks through

my dreams  it is the leading edge of the cloud that brings
 the stormtroopers of the New World Order     I rub my eyes

I cannot breathe and still   it comes 
 the air

6 comments:

  1. for me, Kerri, this is a bit too obscure overall, as the need for the introductory note kind of demonstrates
    ... so I regard it as a kind of a cross between a plan for a poem and an outline of a poem, but not really the poem itself ...

    great title, great beginning, great ending


    also please note Kerri, that I'm happy to write this stuff to you privately instead but I think it's better if we have the discussion here - because in this more intimate group I think it can be useful for others ... and also because others may wish to disagree in interesting/productive ways

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is ok to be online Kit. You have been publicly identified as my mentor for the grant work so I welcome this critique. Having said that - the opinion might be taken or not - and we both are fine with that - and I love the often different opinions of others. I am grateful for all the comments, as I otherwise work alone.

      Delete

  2. I have a box of air now in my shed it is the
    air of All Nations it is sequestered it leaks through

    my dreams it is the leading edge of the cloud that brings
    the stormtroopers of the New World Order I rub my eyes


    Dear Kerri, Lord, I don't think it is obscure at all. But if it were mine, I might think about paring the 2 stanzas I copied above, maybe a few words in each line. Why? The preceding parts are much punchier, and unless you mean to suggest breathlessness, you might just want it to fight to the bell. I'll get back in my box now! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not at all Rob, I like your remarks. I think them over. xx

      Delete
  3. I find this a cute idea, of a package of foreign air! The eBay experience, the army of workers in warehouses. I admire the looseness of your work too.

    ReplyDelete