Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Béatrice Machet # 6 IT MEANS I CAN LOVE

# 6  for the AFTER series    IT MEANS I CAN LOVE

I had G.Stein’s work in mind for two weeks, and now I move to Louise Gluck (& Valère Novarina as a guest star!)


First Memory     Louise Gluck

Long ago, I was wounded. I lived
to revenge myself
against my father, not
for what he was—
for what I was: from the beginning of time,
in childhood, I thought
that pain meant
I was not loved.
It meant I loved.
                                                               “I’ve lived to avenge myself of being”
Valère Novarina

To avenge myself/ yes/

this urge/

to get revenge /against what was lived as the trouble with being born / this discomfort/ like a cloth that is too small / it tightens the armholes / it irritates/ it strips down: skin & eyes & ears & gums / it infuriates from the seams cracks till butterflies in your stomach … / oui / c’est vrai / j’ai des papillons dans le ventre and their wings twist and turn / it’s charming it’s pleasant in the beginning / everybody knows that/ movement generates heat and heat brings to the boil / just a question of time/ no need of being patient / it happens with absolute certainty / it’s the announcement of an overflowing / all bubbles / it’s the disadvantage of being born /

                                                                                                                                              in the open air the bubbles shatter and release an avenging gas / an incensed gas / not necessarily  a laughing one/ and it ignites/ fire is a strategy / a technic/ a tradition: the scorched earth policy …. have you ever hear about it?

                                                         Except that for cinders : there is none/ nothing falling down / it goes on climbing / goes higher it’s without soot / without waste / to avenge myself yes / it’s never too late/ it makes a sad unloving story turning euphoric/ it means I can love/

                                                                                                                                            … yes

                                                                                                        to get revenge

                                                                                            I’ll sublimate myself

A partir du poème de Louise Glück et de la citation de Valère Novarina (« j’ai vécu pour me venger d’être. »)

Pour me venger/ oui/ 

cette urgence/

à me venger/ de ce qu’on  a vécu comme l’inconvénient d’être né(e) / cet inconfort/ comme lorsqu’un habit vous est trop petit/ ça serre aux entournures/ ça vous irrite/ça vous arrache : peau & yeux & oreilles & gencives/ ça enrage depuis les craquements des coutures jusqu’aux papillons dans le ventre/ yes / true enough/ I’ve got butterflies in my stomach et leurs ailes s’agitent/ c’est charmant  c’est léger au début/ or on le sait/ le mouvement crée de la chaleur et la chaleur mène à l’ébullition/ juste une question de temps/ pas besoin d’être patient / ça arrive de toute certitude/ c’est l’annonce d’un débordement/ tout en bulles / c’est l’inconvénient d’être né(e) /

           A l’air libre les bulles éclatent et libèrent un gaz vengeur/ un gaz rageur/ pas forcément hilarant/ et ça s’enflamme/ c’est une stratégie le feu/ la technique incendie/ la tradition terre brûlée …  vous connaissez ?

                                                Sauf que les cendres : y’a pas/ rien ne retombe/ ça continue de grimper / de monter c’est sans suie/ sans déchet/ pour me venger oui/il n’est jamais trop tard/ cela transforme une histoire triste en une histoire euphorique/ cela signifie que je peux aimer/


                                                                                                  Pour me venger :

                                                                                                   je me sublimerai


  1. Love is so mysterious and provokes much to be said and thought of.
    I admire your interogation here.
    I understood and enjoy your breakdown of its contradictions and conundrums...and power.
    I wonder could this piece well benfit from a less linear device? Something circular or spiral comes to mind....but i am visually prone.

  2. Thanks Jeffree! Yes I'm still thinking about shaping this text, if I could have it in a kind of cornucopial pattern I might be satisfied, but easier said than done!

  3. very challenging first line / opening

    to get revenge /against what was lived as the trouble with being born

    I feel I want to travel the maze of possibilities generated here

    I don't see how this ending - the sublimation - can be it

    but maybe I just don't see what it is
    where it is
    where that goes


  4. sublimate, sublimation, to be transformed directly from the solid to the gaseous state (chemistry) but also--through love, to get enoblement, to be raised to a "higher spiritual status" ( and the psychological hint of meaning is also suggested here of course, sublimation to avoid any self-destructive act for instance) .. In fact this poem can be read as the "too high" ambition and ideal of a teenager unwilling to deal with certain aspects of reality, who would be burning alive rather than accepting what he/she sees as mediocrity and compromises.