Sunday, January 1, 2017

Kit Kelen - for godsbother - 1

imagine me made of mist

I am in your hands
we're equally invisible

I am already aloft
am falling
I am in your hands

the sky is the mind

clouds are a manner of speech

wherever your feet are
that's the way

pile out through a camel's eye window
that's how to start a religion


  1. I like this a lot, Kit - it definitely resonates with me, and is nice, as reader, to be pulled in. A few ideas (rather than suggestions) to play with. If you made the title “How to start a religion” and replaced the slightly ironic last line with the title “imagine me made of mist” - I think that the poem would have more impact for me - so that you colour the piece with that somewhat Machiavellian opening but end on a rather pretty, somewhat mystical and moving note. In other words, rather than twisting negatively, you’d be twisting positively, which I think is more powerful.