Monday, January 30, 2017

Kit Kelen - for godsbother - roughly #10? - looking forward to extinction


looking forward to extinction

you only get to imagine now
so make the most

the gods expire
they have use-by dates

any doctrine does

we're characters

no single truth outlasts
the world it circumscribes

the limits of my language
are

pillar of salt if you turn around
it's only a matter of time

6 comments:

  1. not quite sure whether this a kind of complete quip
    or a fragment (possibly beginning) of something with further to travel

    but I guess that


    the end of all time and all space
    ought to fit quite well
    in a haiku


    ReplyDelete
  2. You could have a subsection on end of the world poems. It works well as is, but it might be worth playing with removing those two single lines in the middle - “any doctrine does" and "we’re characters” - both good, but the poem becomes even more chilling and powerful than it already is, if you tell us less. I particularly like the truncated lines ('make the most' and 'limits of my language/are’ which of course illustrate the point). I also very much like the little poem (not a haiku but that maybe adds a touch of humour) in your comment. “but I guess that” could be the title.

    ReplyDelete
  3. thanks ---

    so the poem would then be


    looking forward to extinction


    you only get to imagine now
    so make the most

    the gods expire
    they have use-by dates

    no single truth outlasts
    the world it circumscribes

    the limits of my language
    are

    pillar of salt if you turn around
    it's only a matter of time




    ?

    shall ponder

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love your idea Kit - and Magdalena gave me the thought to change the order of the rhythm just a little bit.
    like this...

    you only get to imagine now
    so make the most

    any doctrine does

    gods expire
    they have use-by dates

    no single truth outlasts
    the world it circumscribes

    we're characters

    the limits of my language are

    pillar of salt if you turn around
    it's only a matter of time

    ReplyDelete
  5. still pondering this one, thanks

    ReplyDelete