shadow width
pulls across the wood
it is a slow
drive up the tunnel of trees
no bumps or
ditches
a forever place and journey
loops
every twig and
distal leaf in focus
here
or there
the opposite of my uncorrected sight
connected
panels, nine frames together
tell me I
am out of focus
any time
faraway or near
my unspectacled
impressionist
world
flows to
abstraction
here
is edged
and eternal cubism
the
rainshine on the road
sunshine cast through branches
travelling
distance
flowing towards me
autumn is
my season
between
the opposite of uncorrected sight
ReplyDelete-- that's a great title, great idea to work with
distance towards me
travelling
too
actually reading this again
ReplyDeleteI think the mention of art movements lessens the whole work
maybe
my unspectacled
impressionist world
flows to abstraction
would be better without abstraction
so
my unspectacled
impressionist world
flows
here
is edged
and eternal
...
or something like that?
I agree, thanks Kit.
ReplyDeleteI like the presence of the word abstraction, grounds the poem. Without it, the poem is more abstract!
ReplyDeletethis is the real business
ReplyDeleteour advice conflicts absolutely
so the poem must find its integrity
the poet must find voice
in the minefield
of opinion
and of other people's stylistic assumptions
two of my favourite Ezra Pound quotes ---
go in fear of abstractions
and
what was the other one?
good luck!
... not forgetting of course that Pound was a complete nutter, not to mention admirer of fascism
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteWell... to me the word abstraction is fine, and I would be tempted to quote Nicolas de Stael: « Je sais que ma vie sera un continuel voyage sur une mer incertaine » (I know my life will be a perpetual journey on an uncertain sea)… and he was speaking about being a painter caught between figuration and abstraction… who wanted first to paint “la vibration du coup reçu” (the vibration of the received kick—or blow—meaning what’s seen) which seems very close to the lovely movement felt in this poem!