Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Béatrice Machet #1



# 1 PRIDE COMES BEFORE A FALL 

Second draft

It’s no myth. Flower of Kent is an apple. It could have been a name for the Full Moon if Newton had been a poet. Poets, but not only, see attraction as the ability of falling. Thus, call it collision, gravitation, or not, living on earth one must accept that it entails the process of falling. Alive or not, “things” and people fall.

It’s no surprise. It’s always possible. The phenomenon repeats itself billion and more trillion times a day. This rule is said to be universal. 

Logs fall and it’s a matter of sleeping.

Breads fall for butter’s sake. 

Stones fall which weigh depend on rage rather than decay (decline degradation downturn disfavor disgrace ... won’t be studied here). 

Fallen people may be lying and resting in a tomb—from the French noun tombe itself being  derived from a verb: tomber. Meaning to fall. Whatever diving stumbling tripping up or over is performed. Whatever  bomb shot  blow or imbalance is the cause. (delete as appropriate).

You fall at away back behind below beneath between by flat for from heads over heels into off on out outside over prey to short through to toward under … within…

It might concern hurdle holes traps cracks stools wayside bonds job hook line sinker grace love heir heap line illness power clutches disuse place hands eyes clouds trucks laps map wagon sword ground feet knees hard times face bed favor spell bits and pieces … floor …

It’s important to have it free. 

Never forget the bigger they come the harder they fall.

Provided you can read I don’t mind this to fall on deaf ears.


First draft posted on 365+1 blog a long time ago!

Living on earth one must accept that it entails the process of falling.Things and people fall.

It’s no surprise. It’s always possible. The phenomenon repeats itself billion and more trillion times a day. The rule of gravitation is said to be universal. 

Logs fall and it’s a matter of sleeping.

Breads fall for butter’s sake. 

You fall at away back behind below beneath between by flat for from heads over heels into off on out outside over prey to short through to toward under within

It might concern hurdle holes traps cracks stools wayside job hook line sinker grace love heir heap line illness power clutches decay disfavor disgrace disuse place hands eyes trucks laps map wagon sword ground feet knees hard times face bed favor spell bits and pieces floor 

It’s important to have it free

Never forget the bigger they come the harder they fall

Provided you can read I don’t mind this to fall on deaf ears

4 comments:

  1. Wow Béatrice, I like this work a lot. It’s challenging, but good challenging, and I admire how you’re not afraid to play linguistically here. Just a few very minor English things that might help make the work a little easier for the reader (leaving all the good challenge).
    - Bread is plural so I’d remove the s.
    - the line "which weigh depend on rage rather than decay” - pretty sure you mean “way” rather than “weigh”
    - not 100% sure about your two parenthetic phrases. I don’t dislike them, but the poem is already pretty dense and it might work better if you deleted some of that - up to you! I mean "won’t be studied here” (please leave the rest - it’s great), and "(delete as appropriate)”.
    - "Provided you can read I don’t mind this to fall on deaf ears.” I think would work better grammatically with “I don’t mind if this falls on deaf ears”.

    Just regarding your plan, would love to hear it read aloud, maybe in French. You could put up on soundcloud and then just post a link.

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  2. This is really mavleous art Beatrice. I agree with Magdalena - it challenges but worth the push. I tried a couple of times... alone and then 'finally' and gratefully 'found' it in a busy little Italian cafe. What was 'dense' sonehow became rich. My head is spinning... poetry and coffee is pleasantly adddictive, thank you.
    My only humble suggestion would be greater line spacing ... maybe.
    I haven't tried a compasion reading yet and will follow your progress.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Jefree, any comment is precious to me! I'll try another display on the page for sure!

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  3. Wow, thanks by the thousands Magdalena, you're so kind and your comments will help A LOT! I'm of this sort of temperaments that live and feel always a kind of “spillover” … so pointing out my excesses will make me aware of them and this will do me some real good!!

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