The
Aphrodisiac Sting
Grey on grey soft shadow
longing washed into insignificance
slides through the landscape
everywhere spoiled for beauty
the privilege of place and stolen time
salt water and mist
she curls her body in readiness
the nervous system on alert
it’s just water, love
ocean, sky, a picture of pain in muted tones
nerves don’t carry memory
that is the simple story
you can’t conjure it, it travels in cell tissue
in the backlit sting that lingers
silent as a phantom limb
ready for entry
Magdalena, this is gorgeous! I would only say, I tripped over the double 'it' on the fourth from the bottom line, despite the comma, and wonder how it reads without either of them?
ReplyDeleteGreat suggestion, I think it’s better as you suggest. Thank you.
DeleteLove it and agree with Kerri and would add that the - it's...leading staza five seems to slow fluidity.
ReplyDeleteJyst the 'it's' ...I mean.
Delete