Klee
taking
my line
for
a walk in
this winter
afternoon
promenade
evening
passeggiata
with
paint or in pencil
paddock
or sea slice
all
the one canvas
this
page
blue
as above
I'm
not the only one
out
and about
ant
along winter met
boots
for the snow
in
ice a crevice set
listen!
and
the colour comes
inkling
of Spring
first
ever!
Beautifully conjures the painter’s work. I had to look up “passeggiata” - what a lovely word to use in conjunction with paint/pencil. I like the little rhyme too - just the one works well. The only thing that jars me a tiny bit is the two exclamations. I almost feel like the last line should have no punctuation at all, or maybe even have Spring as the last word - eg “inkling of first ever/Spring” which, in caps, functions almost like an exclamation without the mark.
ReplyDeleteyep -- -punctuation is the perennial question over every mark
ReplyDeleteat least we're talking about it
!?