Magdalena Ball - City Child 7 - Blackout

Blackout

The Northeast blackout happened in 1969

taking out the electricity of over 30 million

from Quebec through New Jersey

New York City was in darkness

for thirteen hours

it was a particularly cold winter

I don’t recall the event in a linear sense

but I feel the imprint of that day in my cells.

I remember cold, fear, and excitement

stories spread quickly of UFO sightings

just before the blackout occurred

it was a bright full moon that night and no clouds

visibility outside was good

despite the lack of street lighting

in the twisted logic of memory

I attributed the lack of crime that night

to a muscular man named Banana

long black hair flowed past a tattooed neck

a deep scar across his cheek, a gold tooth

and large machete clearly on display

he always winked at me when we passed

I wasn’t scared, even later

when I learned what a machete could do

when the lights went out

my mother waited for the apocalypse

in our tenement on Columbia Street

holding me so tightly I could barely breathe, meanwhile

Banana took it upon himself to keep the streets safe

I have no idea what horrors he had committed

or whether he was part of the drug dealing ring

that pulled my mother into a spiral of addiction

which nearly killed her

the facts, such as they were, were relayed to me

much later during one of many late night sessions

in the final days

I massaged my mother’s back and as she spoke

I was able to recall the smell of those moonlit streets

as I watched from the window

of our high rise in the NYC Housing Authority’s Projects

behind the home-made yellow and green Marimekko curtains

as if the shadows of those vigilantes continued to watch out for us

and in Banana’s wink I felt he was forgiving me

for my whiteness, a privilege it took me years to recognise

my weakness, and my mother’s fear, which grew stronger

until she finally got fed up with hiding under the table

and we left to live closer to my grandparents in Long Island

no matter where you go, there you are

fear dogged my mother throughout her short life

leaving the city didn’t save her

but that night, when failure cascaded through

the power systems, one cold November

Banana kept trouble at bay.