Dhandhanggula
~ seventh song ~
lady in a gown
made of sweat
her nose twitches
with the effort to recover
breath
she’s watching bare
bottom out of the room
past midnight, party is over
she has lasted longer than
Cinderella, a tale she had
read for her children
two boys and three girls
on a cramp mattress
not far from the ground
in this floorless house
walls of woven bamboo
wind whistling through crevices
flickers the flame
of the bedside table lantern
all these things flicker
in her sleepy eyes
perhaps she’ll get
two or three hours
I guess after the discussion in the previous song, I want to clarify this song cycle project. While the original form is a song, I intended to create responses to the underlying theme for each song. This one is more about the family life after the wedding.
ReplyDeleteDoes this work as a complete poem?
Yes Chrys, it works as a complete poems and we've got all the hints we needed to imagine this woman and her life and her broken dreams and broken hopes... it perfectly works!
ReplyDeleteThat's a very tight and elegant fusion of themes. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI only flinched at 'cramp mattress' did you mean 'cramped'?
Although this playful verb vs noun scenario is provocative, I still flinched but that's just me.
A great responsive song to your poems/songs of love.
is it a cramped mattress or a mattress that gives you cramps (probably because it's so cramped)?
ReplyDelete