Magdalena Ball - Persona Grata - Mel’s Reflection

I thought I’d give the memoir a little rest and move onto another section for a bit - some persona poems I’ve been working on.  Don’t think I like the title - it’s temporary.  Not sure I want to make the real life persona obvious (MG of course), but I’m open to suggestions. 

Mel’s Reflection

One day the mirror, with its sweet surface

of flattery and desire, cracked

beneath the sheen

the pancake makeup of my craft

I saw my face in polarity

the fractured prism of a whisky glass 

my father’s shaking hands

after another session with the leather belt

one thing about celebrity

there’s nowhere to hide

I play everyone but myself

the twisted logic of masculinity

a ragged wig, a trick

the harder he hit, the softer I got

a paradox, split the brain

split my lip, stopped crying

for a god that wasn’t answering

my inner blank

broke into waves

hunger contractions through the 

reflection of a bottle

the disease fractured against my hands

my lips, my eyes wide

I hit the wall until the pain 

triggered my dopamine receptors

and I fell

a broken body

amalgamated into some kind of truth

I might go somewhere 

where no one can find me

to make amends.