Sunday, February 26, 2017

Jeff Skewes #8

I amended #7 Empty ... took Magdalena's advice, so much the better 
tanx MB

So to #8 
Although this is a 365 reworking I still find it compelling here (order)  and a better version than Underneath #1.
I wonder what others think 

See link to #1 below.
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Light finds its way
beneath waves

deep into crevices
their unlit cracks

underneath under-realised
illuminated opalescent shells

on ocean floors
tickling ancient tales

still detecting curious currents
emanating from above

unperturbed by questions
stained on traveler's faces

too far from home seeking direction 
and a safe landing

instead answers 
so indirect

that refraction and reflection
be the only means

to comprehend
a language so foreign

it must be sung backwards









image: Wagonga - synthetic polymer paint on joined multi canvas panels jskewes




Underneath 1. see

5 comments:

  1. Such a beautiful image, Jeffree (is your artwork for sale anywhere?). I liked the first version but this second one, with its couplets and increased breathing space is even better. Does it have a title? Beneath Waves? The only thing that jars with me is the couplet: "instead answers only/so indirect”. If you were remove either the word “instead” or “only” (so the line was either “instead answers” or “answers only” and change the adjective “indirect” to the adverb “indirectly”, the whole thing would flow right through to the brilliant ending.

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  2. how much light is there at the bottom of the deepest sea?
    and what's it like ?
    I know there's a lot of life down there ...
    and I've read some recent things about heavy metals and other pollution unexpectedly making it all the way down there ...
    it's an interesting spot for the poet to ponder

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes you're right (:
      Only is gone
      Tanx MB

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  3. Great ending and lovely picture. As it seems you could give this poem a development with other propositions on this topic!

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    Replies
    1. Yes... you've promted me to do so. Tanx BM

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