An overweight, elderly man
lights a cigarette as he walks
across the medical center
parking lot, takes four or five
drags while he ambles,
throws the lit cigarette forward
onto the ground with his right hand,
pauses, grinds it out with his right foot,
proceeds onwards towards automatic
doors and the doctor’s diagnosis.
heavy foreshadowing there ...
ReplyDeletea bushfire in the wings
This is complete Nathanael... although
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help but think a another line or two eg, starting with say...'next..... ' or 'leaving his doctor...' or even 'vindicated he .....' :)
I'm just having fun... It is finished...
What a scene! So simple and so open to any kind of interpretation .... almost unbearable suspense ...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jeffree and Beatrice. Lovely feedback!
ReplyDelete